


5 Stages of Mourning (Almost) Everything You Once Knew

by StrangeBlueGlow (orphan_account)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-17
Updated: 2011-10-17
Packaged: 2017-10-24 17:16:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/265930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/StrangeBlueGlow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Michael mourns the loss of almost everything he ever knew and rediscovers something he'd nearly forgotten he'd ever had.</p>
            </blockquote>





	5 Stages of Mourning (Almost) Everything You Once Knew

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for spnraritiesfest at Livejournal for darkprincess17. Thanks to my beta Amanda. Any remaining errors are mine

=Denial=

The cage closes as the brothers fall into the blackness.

Suddenly, it isn't so dark anymore as the space fills with Hellfire and ice like glass.

Michael and Lucifer hit bottom with a resounding crash. No attention is paid to their vessels, cast into the flames. Lucifer can't help but grimace at his prison made no more comfortable by the familiarity or even the knowledge he isn't alone this time. His brother begins circling him as though they were still in the cemetery above.

Michael calmly says the words his brother has heard too many times before. "You're a monster, Lucifer, and I have to kill you."

"You can't kill me here. We can't die in this place. Believe me, I've tried," Lucifer huffs a bitter laugh as Michael tries to summon his sword to no avail, "Don't waste your time, brother. Or do. We have an eternity of it."

"No, brother. I will follow Father's orders and He will free me." Michael continues to circle like a hawk.

"You wouldn't be here if this isn't exactly where He wanted you." Lucifer says flatly as Michael lunges toward him.

He lets his older brother hit him before throwing him off and launching an attack himself in retaliation.

They fight for days, but there's no anger behind it. For all they tear at each other, it is only going through the motions. Lucifer attacks in defense and out of ancient hurt that has long since lost its fire, while Michael tries to follow his orders, certain their Father will be his savior as soon as his mission is complete.

Slowly, Michael realizes that the wounds keep healing and there is no sign that Father cares to change the situation in any way.

Lucifer had tired of the battling before it even began.

Eventually, they just stop fighting.

=Anger=

Michael takes up torturing Sam.

All the anger the archangel lacked in battling his brother and more is present in his abuse of his brother's true vessel. Even the worst of Lucifer's children would be taken aback at Michael's actions.

Lucifer doesn't try to stop him. He mostly ignores the screams until he hears a low growl and glances over to see his brother glaring at him.

"This is your fault." The elder archangel turns his attentions from tearing at his brother's vessel to lunging at his brother directly.

The move is so sudden Lucifer cannot dodge him and is pressed against the wall of the cage, the barrier searing at his back. He screams and Michael presses harder.

"You couldn't just listen to Father! You should have never been able to question Him. His Word is absolute!" A hard punch lands on Lucifer's jaw, carrying all the righteous fury one could expect from the great Archangel Michael.

"You're weak! You let one of Father's creations, the ones you think so little of, overpower you and drag us both here!" Lucifer's entire form rocks with the force of his brother's fist.

"You're sick and need to be put down!" Michael throws another punch, but Lucifer catches it. Michael snarls and Lucifer can only think to capture his brother's mouth with his own.

Their lips meet and there is something softer there for a moment, an echo of eons ago, until Michael's tongue forces its way into Lucifer's mouth and his knee between his brother's thighs.

Lucifer moans and rakes his hands down Michael's back, nails drawing blood. Michael pulls back and hisses before sinking teeth into the juncture of Lucifer's neck and shoulder. He responds with a low growl, feeling Michael's growing hardness against his thigh and sliding against his own.

Michael shoves Lucifer's legs wider and presses him harder against the wall as a hand reaches between them to grip Lucifer's length, tugging it roughly.

Lucifer moans at that and pulls Michael's hair trying to bring him up into another kiss, but Michael will have none of it, sucking a bruise, stroking too fast and too hard and Lucifer finding the feeling of his brother's touch too good to do anything but take it, bucking into Michael's hand and moaning wantonly until Michael presses into him forcefully.

Michael drives into Lucifer hard and fast, the devil still clawing at his back. He pulls away from Lucifer's neck and stares at his brother, licking blood from his teeth and lips.

Lucifer comes at the sight.

Michael speaks, low and far more even than he has any right to, punctuating his words with sharp thrusts. "You're a monster! You have to be a monster! You have to be!"

Lucifer crashes his mouth against his brother's, swallowing protests until he has to throw his head back scream from the relentless onslaught Michael is subjecting him to. "Why am I a monster, Michael!? All I've done is love! How does that make me a monster, brother?"

"You have to be a monster... I can kill a monster. But I can't kill my brother..." Michael stills as he comes, spilling inside Lucifer with a wrecked sob. He pulls out, fleeing to the far corner of the cage, leaving Lucifer still weak-kneed against the wall.

=Bargaining=

Michael prays.

Lucifer doesn't know why his brother bothers to pray. He knows it is of no use, and he suspects that deep within him Michael does to.

But still Michael prays.

There are petty remarks Lucifer could make, but they are way past the point of words, and it honestly hurts him to see his brother this way.

Michael apologizes for being a bad soldier, a bad son, a bad brother. He asks for forgiveness and begs for a second chance.

It gets to the point that Lucifer can't bear to watch anymore.

"Michael," Lucifer gently rests a hand on his brother's shoulder, "even if He were listening, He couldn't hear you. Not down here."

Michael sits very still for a moment, until Lucifer begins to pull away. Then he places his hand on top of his brother's. Shaking slightly, he begins to sob.

=Depression=

Lucifer is uncertain of what to do. For ages, he had raged at the thought of Michael. He would have killed him if it came to that, and now he only wants to comfort the brother who had cast him out.

As Lucifer kneels beside him, Michael reaches out to his brother, seeking any comfort offered. Lucifer denies him none as he pulls Michael to him, wrapping him in his arms.

Michael continues to sob against his brother's shoulder. Lucifer lets him, holding his brother close.

There is a dull ache, deep within their graces. This felt too much like Before. Like Home, where they'd laze in the garden, in awe of Father's creation, worshipping each other.

Their lips meet. They kiss, softly, slowly, as though nothing had changed from eons ago.

When they part, Michael speaks, sobs now eased, but tears still rolling down his cheeks. "I'm sorry, brother."

Lucifer raises a hand, wiping a tear from Michael's cheek with his thumb. "I'm sorry, too"

Michael keeps a tight hold on his brother for a moment as he kisses him again gently. Lucifer slowly begins to lay Michael on his back.

"Lucifer?" Michael whispers questioningly.

"Michael." Lucifer pushes Michael back and slides a hand between them, slowly stroking Michael's length.

Michael closes his eyes for a brief moment, swallowing hard, any protest dying in his throat as he reaches for Lucifer's own hardness.

They buck into each other hands and against each other gently, savoring every touch.

There is no fury, like before. Just a gentle slide and building friction. Comfort and love neither had known in far too long a time.

Michael begins to cry again, face buried in Lucifer's shoulder. Lucifer murmurs soothing words of love against Michael's ear and trying to hide that he is crying as well.

They continue the slow rocking, building to a quiet crescendo, spilling over each other, their names a quiet whisper on their lips.

=Acceptance=

"We're down here for a very long time, aren't we, brother?" Michael says shakily as his breathing steadies.

Lucifer nods slowly and speaks softly. "Yes. I think so."

"Although I wish things had never ended up like this..." Michael shuts his eyes and takes a deep breath, leaning his forehead against Lucifer's before continuing, "I am glad that if I should have to be imprisoned, I am able to be bound here with you."

Lucifer gives his brother a soft, sad smile. "And there are none I would rather have share my sentence than you."

The End


End file.
